Monday, February 27, 2012

not to get super personal but... this is totally where my finances are at

We Love Ramen Infographic
Created by: Hack College

this is what my dreams look like

because no one demanded it: why cyanide kills quickly

You remember that scene in that spy movie you were watching where the evil spy cracks open a false tooth full of poison and dies before the good guys can get their questions answered?  Yeah, that was cyanide in that tooth.  It's a thing.  Spies use it to kill themselves.  So did Hitler.  If you're anything like me, I'm sure you've always wondered how the fuck that actually works.  Don't worry, I know you're not like me, but click the thing, maybe you'll learn something.

texting while walking makes you look like a real asshole

and yet I do it all the time...

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

fx's justified and organ theft: do people really steal your kidneys or is that bullshit?

Last night, Justified featured that story you've heard a million times before.  Someone woke up in a bathtub without his kidneys.  In a twist on the idea, he was told he had four hours before the not having of kidneys would kill him, and if he brought $20,000 to a rendezvous, they could put his kidneys back in and he would live a long and happy life.  Mayhem ensued.  As always, a great episode, but it got me thinking… do organized organ theft operations really exist?  Let’s find out.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

a warren and a song

“Be authentic to your dreams. Be authentic to your own idea about yourself. Grind away at your own minds and bodies until you become your own invention. Be Mad Scientists.”
― Warren Ellis

Monday, February 6, 2012

the winter soldier, a monkey with a machine gun, and the russian mafia model

This week's issue of The Winter Soldier featured a break in at a Russian Mob-backed casino.  It ends with a giant ape shooting an AK-47 at our heroes, because comics are awesome.  Somewhere between the break-in and the giant monkey I got to thinking about the criminal model used by the Russian Mafia, and I had to question the idea behind their ownership of a casino.  The Russian Mafia method of crime is a simple one: move to an area, do your dirt, then get the fuck out.

It sounds simple, but it's amazing how few crooks actually use it.  Even our home-grown mob doesn't.  When a truck gets highjacked in New Jersey, the cops know there's probably half a dozen suspects, so they put surveillance on them, wait to see who buys something expensive, and bingo, they know who did it.  The Russians are the modern day Nomads of crime.  They move from country to country, using transnational shipping routes, front companies, and an army of lawyers to handle their business.  So this got me thinking about the casino... these are mobile people, they don't do things like this, owning giantly visible businesses that attract the attention of the government, right?  So I turned to the awesome power of Google to see if I was right.  I wasn't.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

totally crucial information

A source I trust completely... mostly because I can easily envision him eating someone... has informed me that the ideal human sample is a woman aged 18-21 who's been starved for three days but kept very well hydrated.  So what does that mean for you?  When the world ends, if you're a young lady, for god's sake make sure your fucking shotgun is loaded.  People are going to try to eat you. 

Friday, February 3, 2012

this is why i love crime

"If you should chance to strike up a conversation with an articulate, English-speaking Russian, in, say, the restaurant of one of the luxury hotels along Lake Geneva, and he is wearing a $3,000 suit and a pair of Gucci loafers, and he tells you that he is an executive of a Russian trading company and wants to talk to you about a joint venture, then there are four possibilities.  He may be what he says he is.  He may be a Russian intelligence officer working under commercial cover.  He may be part of a Russian organized crime group.  But the really interesting possibility is that he may be all three - and that none of those three institutions have any problems with the arrangement."

- James Woolsey, former director of the CIA