Wednesday, March 28, 2012

stuff your face with this

Be still, my nerdish heart, for Wednesday has arrived, and with it, colorful fisticuffs and fanciful feats.  PUNCHING!  Also talking.  Sometimes they talk during the punching.  Those are usually the best bits.  Read on, for there is punching and quipping and science and mutants and murderous Native Americans.  Really.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

be better

I wish astral projection were a real thing.  I wish I could loose my spirit from my body, fall free from my burdens, and fly forever upward.  I wish my worries were dust.  I wish my wants weren't wasteful.  I wish I were better. I wish I was worth it to try.

Mostly I wish I weren't such a downer all the time.

Monday, March 26, 2012

my origin story

Sometimes I think I cling to childish things because I know, deep in my heart, that I didn't turn out right as a person, and I have nothing to offer the world in an adult context.  I'm not as funny as I wish I were, not clever enough by half, and I have a work ethic that has been described by a Swedish efficiency expert as "värdelös." I was scared to ask him what it meant; he looked fucking furious.  

The Bunk is very fucking disappoint.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

grammar is my fucking nemesis

So is literacy apparently, because the first time I wrote this post title, I spelled it grammer.

Friday, March 23, 2012

wonder woman 7: what the hell just happened?

One of my favorite comics right now is Wonder Woman.  I know, I’m as surprised as you.  Wonder Woman has always been a weird ass comic.  Every time someone new takes over, it’s like everything that happened before doesn’t count, there’s weird mythology stuff, she’s wearing a weird fucking America bathing suit even though she’s fucking Greek, plus it’s like Xena, but written shittier and her villains suck.  Yeah, not a ton of reasons you might want to read her book.

But here’s the thing, her book is totally awesome right now!  Or, well, it was, until this week.  This week… well let’s talk about why it’s awesome before we get to that.  First off, the art right now is amazing.  It’s being drawn by a guy named Cliff Chiang, and his art is phenomenal.  Second, it’s being written by a guy who I’ve loved for years, Brian Azzarello.  He wrote the best crime comic ever written, called 100 Bullets.  Together they've put together an interesting supporting cast, drawn Wonder Woman with more dignity than she's used to, and put a level of thought into her universe that I'm not sure we've seen previously.  Join me after the jump to find out more.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

the crater

The first incursion began on Wednesday.  Who knows why, but they chose Sweden.  The fucking ground burst and spit hellfire into the morning air.  At first, it was declared to be "a massive geological event" because who, upon seeing the devastation, would conclude, "oh, of course, demons have arrived to eat our faces." No, normal people don't think like that.  They said it was similar in effect to a geyser, leaving out the fact that, outside volcanoes, GEYSERS DON'T FUCKING SHOOT FIRE AT PEOPLE.  There were those of us who knew the truth, but Sweden is far, and burning leather wings flap with an unmatched urgency.  We arrived too late.  By Saturday, Sweden was salt and ash.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

super mario subway

The comments here are all asking why aren't the people on the train enjoying the music, or even paying a little bit of attention... This is perhaps a uniquely New York phenomenon. Comedians make jokes about how New Yorkers fall asleep on the train, and people think we're rude for not displaying any empathy or being rude or whatever. While there are some people who can, in fact, fall asleep on the train, for me it's different. I don't fall asleep, I close my eyes so I can shut down. So I can shut out the cacophony. So I can listen to my headphones and imagine that I am alone in the world, if only for a brief second. That is the double edged sword of the city. We love it for the vibrancy, the life, the mix of cultures, all that shit. But sometimes you need to take a break from it. Turning your brain off on the train is one way people do that. But hey, you gotta respect the hustle of paying Super Mario music on a subway, that's for sure.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

i will build it. they will come.

"SimCity for PC will equip players with the tools to play the most sophisticated simulation of its kind. We are dedicated to making sure the experience – no matter the platform – has the fun, flavor and playability that has been intrinsic to the franchise since its birth."

A host of changes are coming to the series. For starters roads can now be curved, making for more organic city layouts than the grid framework the series was known for. The fixed viewpoint is also gone, allowing players to zoom in on specific buildings or move the camera around. Zooming in close to the ground also changes the audio, with close ups providing the cacophony of the city, and zoomed out views providing a much quieter atmosphere.

From what's been shown so far there appears to be an increased level of visual detail. Buildings will have tiny pieces of signage, individual citizens will roam around and go about their daily lives, sometimes doing benign things like going to dinner, other times becoming proactive and protesting if jobs get low. The attention to detail actually has gameplay importance too, as you can see if a factory is working effeciently based on how it looks, how it animates.

Buildings also change over time in SimCity, unlocking new abilities, such as the power to put out fires faster for an upgraded fire station.

And you don't have to worry about trying to decipher the progress of your city via a number of graphs and charts, as these are being replaced with modernized infographics.

Multiplayer has been expanded for SimCity. You and your regional friends can trade resources via land, sea and air, hopefully resulting in collaboration between partners to build more effeciently. Online play also means there leaderboards, where you can see how you rank in fields like finance or production.