tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62542741755717078672024-03-14T02:06:13.217-07:00My Robot HeartUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-70880625436848973572012-05-10T17:02:00.000-07:002012-05-10T17:02:19.730-07:00A Rooftop Party and a Series of Felonies: Human Trafficking, Day One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQfzfVRej1R6LJ-mcSlZ-s9IiKvxt-j8VhXNWGB3Wo4kJNldumFzT-eenX4dN__YlyA-uQn7fmpvLDTb1c9nsGexZg95B6YuqQagvlYIcagpNiu4z-ApAD-bifTRTdkTwOPXpK1wiuU2HF/s1600/humantrafficking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQfzfVRej1R6LJ-mcSlZ-s9IiKvxt-j8VhXNWGB3Wo4kJNldumFzT-eenX4dN__YlyA-uQn7fmpvLDTb1c9nsGexZg95B6YuqQagvlYIcagpNiu4z-ApAD-bifTRTdkTwOPXpK1wiuU2HF/s400/humantrafficking.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
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One of the men we work with spends his time
alongside the moneyed elite of our lunatic city. He was at some
ponderous party, one of those sky bars that dot the Financial District.
An acquaintance approached, eager to impress. They’re all eager to
impress at bars like that. Commissions spend easier than normal
paychecks. Rumors were exchanged. I don’t know enough about finances
to imagine what may have been said. Interests were peaked when the
junior associate mentioned “a car service that offers more than just a
car service.” </div>
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Sex work is debated regularly within our
organization. Some say that legitimate sex work, that is, sex work
where the woman has made the choice free of coercion, is none of our
business. Others say it is exploitation, plain and simple. I’m not
sure exactly how I feel about it. There are days when I think it should
be totally above board, licensed sex workers working at a chain store
of sex, everything open and safe. Then there are days when I see it as
evidence of some kind of moral decay, or worse, I see that any woman
working in such an industry must be coerced somehow, by society, by
upbringing, by low self-esteem. I’ve tabled the debate in my head for
now. When we come across a new organization trading in flesh, we
investigate. We’ve yet to find one completely blameless. There’s
always some evil hidden there.</div>
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The junior associate handed our moneyed man
a business card, advertising the services of a professional masseuse
named Ivanka. He copied the number into his BlackBerry, and wished the
associate a good night. I’m sure he was met with a lecherous smile.
When he reported in to the organization, we ran the number. The phone
is registered to a company called “Novelty Amusements of Uniondale.” We
searched court filings, but the business had none. The internet was
similarly unhelpful. The only record was its record of incorporation,
which was back in 2002. That’s what a front looks like. Some local
bank somewhere will have transaction records, probably just enough money
in an account to pay for a few phone lines. </div>
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Even a front can be helpful however.
Novelty Amusements of Uniondale was incorporated in May 2002, and the
officer of incorporation was oh so helpfully listed. A gentleman named
Lloyd Remmens filed it. A quick search revealed he was a lawyer of
small renown, without a discernable specialty. He’d been to court on
cases ranging from personal injury to landlord-tenant disputes. He
worked at a firm no one within the organization could claim to have
heard of. After completing our actionable avenues, an operation was
called for.</div>
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The lawyer’s office turned out to be in a
large residential apartment building. A search determined his was not
the only business located there. Two therapist’s offices and an
accountant shared the same building, but not on the same floors. His
office was on the 16<sup>th</sup> floor. I don’t like to break windows
at that height. I know it’s crazy, but I worry about it doing some kind
of structural damage to the building. Wind pressure or something. A
bit of fake physics I’ve picked up from some action movie I’m sure.
Knowing that you’re being irrational isn’t much of a deterrent. That
meant covert entry. </div>
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You wouldn’t think breaking in to a
residential apartment building would be very difficult. It’s not the
Pentagon, after all. What makes it so difficult is the sheer
unpredictability of it all. We counted 10 apartments per floor, with 24
floors total. That’s 240 apartments. Let’s be conservative and say
there are two people in every apartment. That’s 480 people. 480 people
who might have trouble sleeping. 480 people who might’ve been woken up
by their dog for a 2 am walk. 480 people who might be doing laundry,
or using the gym (it’s a fancy building, you have to plan for a gym).
It’s harder than you would think.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I made my way to their service entrance,
but it had a security camera. Strangely enough, a well-dressed man in a
gas mask isn’t the most covert mode of dress. Since I was going dark, I
had forgone the mask. That meant the camera had to go. There are lots
of ways to beat a security camera, but I settled for the one that would
ensure a security guard go check on it. This model broadcasts its
image wirelessly to a base where the pictures can be monitored. The
likelihood of someone competent actually monitoring the cameras was low,
but why risk it? I hid a device the size of a pack of cigarettes in
the roots of the small modesty bush they’d planted to offset the
ugliness of their service area. Close enough to the camera to be
helpful, but not so close as to be detected. The device was the
Professor’s. It creates a neg signal on the same broadcast frequency as
the camera. When I turn it on, if there’s a guard watching, all he can
see is static. I was about to break out a tool developed by the KGB
for disabling locks, when I saw that the lock was made by KABA. KABA
locks are used all over the world, even on military bases. It’s your
basic push button lock, where a code is given to anyone who needs
access. For a lock used by several different militaries, it’s amazingly
bad. All you need to beat it is a very strong magnet. Fucks it right
up. As it happens, I carry a very strong magnet. </div>
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In my coat I carry a handheld, Israeli-made
thermal imaging device. Attach it to any surface, and it can tell you
if anyone awaits you on the other side. No one did. Once inside I
dispatch the Professor’s rolling surveillance pods. We may have to give
them over to the military one day. They roll throughout the service
area, taking pictures like a Google Street View van, telling me what I
face. For something so mobile, they’re really tough to spot; smaller
than a marble, they rarely pique anyone’s interest. They then compile
their collective data, and send a complete tactical picture to
headquarters, or in this case, to the small tablet in my coat pocket.</div>
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I needn’t have worried about security
cameras. They link up to a hub two doors down. A computer handles the
feeds, probably networked to a second computer at the front desk, where
the lone security guard is sure to be sitting. Since I’m all alone down
here, I decide to see if anyone is up and about in the building. A
heavyset man is using an exercise bike in a small gym, and someone is
doing laundry. If anyone else is about, I don’t see them. The main
lobby feed is up, and the man at the desk doesn’t seem to be paying any
particular attention to anything, in that nether zone of night work,
where you’re awake but asleep. A few keystrokes ensure that even if he
should check the cameras, all would look normal.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I sprint up the stairs, and head for the
lawyer’s office. Never take the elevator. That’s a trap. When I reach
the lawyer’s door, I finally get to use my KGB toy. I love it. The
Russians were true masters of the craft. Their device looks like an ice
pick. Instead of a pointy end, it has spokes that look like an
unfinished key. You place the key-ish bit in the lock, and gently let
the key bits interact with the architecture inside the lock. The key
bits on the device can be pushed inward, so if you’re gentle, your
device will sync up with the pins in the lock. Once you’ve got it
synced up, you lock the key bits in place, and you’ve got a key that
fits the lock. It’s brilliant in its simplicity.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I close the window shades and turn on the
lamp in his office. Flashlights are a dead giveaway. After some
futzing on his computer and a look through his file cabinets, I find out
the real owner of Novelty Amusements of Uniondale. George Vincent, and
his son George Jr. Welcome to the night, gentlemen. You won’t enjoy
what we have planned for you.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-31511919885355967872012-04-17T16:04:00.002-07:002012-04-17T16:05:06.045-07:00don't stop believing... as sung by the movies<iframe width="590" height="375" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kVm8GRXvUhA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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Oh Sony Vegas... one day I will master you. And on that day... well, I'm not gonna do anything like this. This seems like way too much fucking work. But something. Oh yes. Something.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-57559235074135925772012-04-09T19:13:00.001-07:002012-04-09T19:14:18.199-07:00welcome to the night<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcgf28P7Z4NThA5pC_vGBB-9e-hNWjVG0Y8UJ0U-LQ_F1nFUXAINKmfc4AAXItGo5k-bZMgu0ekaG-GUWZG2VApsVEfbw86n2RdR7yz0YiE-5qTIbRNIkcDMOhxm-lsC8Mr3HXnfzUJkPU/s1600/Mysterious_Caped_Figure_detail_by_TheVampireAdrik.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcgf28P7Z4NThA5pC_vGBB-9e-hNWjVG0Y8UJ0U-LQ_F1nFUXAINKmfc4AAXItGo5k-bZMgu0ekaG-GUWZG2VApsVEfbw86n2RdR7yz0YiE-5qTIbRNIkcDMOhxm-lsC8Mr3HXnfzUJkPU/s400/Mysterious_Caped_Figure_detail_by_TheVampireAdrik.jpg" width="550" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">No one thought arresting Jason Timmons would be a problem. He’d been arrested plenty of times before, why would this be any different? Considering our city’s many problems, the warrant squad is actually pretty effective. Surprising, I know. They work nights, late, when they know you’re home sleeping. The building was owned and operated by City Housing, so they didn’t need to get buzzed in, they already had a key. According to the report, they knocked on his door at 3:34 am. That’s when the shooting started.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We’re a violent city, that’s for sure. But full-scale shootouts are actually pretty fucking rare, so I hopped to it. I was on the job, already suited up, so I made my way to the nearest roof and signaled for the glider. The leap of faith is the best part of my job. I run for the ledge and throw myself off. I always have that small nagging thought, “This is the time the glider won’t catch you, idiot.” But it always does. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It wasn’t far to the scene of the crime; I got there before it was over. I leapt from the glider, smashing through a nearby window. I never run in to the fray. That’s how the last man who wore my cloak died. I always set up a defensible position and send the rollers for recon. Ask the professor about the rollers, he’ll tell you at great length that they’re his finest invention. The size of marbles, they move of their own accord, and a small handful of them create a fly’s eye image of the project hallway that’s turned into a warzone. They coordinate their many pictures with the mainframe back at base, giving me a 3D image of what’s happening. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The officers had fallen back around the corner from the apartment door. A man inside had set up a metal barrier in the doorway he was taking cover behind. His eyes were wild. Any hope of a peaceful ending was out the window. Jason Timmons is black, 35, shaved head. No scars. Endless tattoos, cheaply done, barely visible on his dark skin. A roller made its way down towards the officers, and I understood the calamity. I knew two of them. Alvarez, McKenna<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">, </span>and the new female whose name I haven’t learned yet.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Alvarez and McKenna are brutal, even by our standards. They work warrants, so they have a ready-made excuse to boom your door and rifle through your possessions. More often than not, what they find isn’t turned in to property. That they also fuck people up should probably go without saying. I know of two different dealers confined to wheelchairs because of them. The female officer was new, but probably not the most solid of citizens if she was paired up with those two. God, I’m getting cynical. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Alvarez is key player in the hidden web of corruption that plagues my city. McKenna is his lapdog. They’ve gone too far this time, causing a shootout in a project hallway. If there aren’t at least two dead neighbors behind this bullshit, I’ll be fucking shocked. They’ve got to go. The woman… maybe she gets a pass this time.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let me be clear: I’m not a killer. That said, if there’s a guy already willing to do the deed I need done… why not help the man? I make my way to the busted window that was my entrance. Gas mask on; the cloak flutters in the wind. The officers have taken up a position two windows down from my location, but that’s easily reached. I can see them now, crouching behind the corner, waiting for a clear shot. They probably don’t have real permission to be here. They were planning on hitting the door, and writing it up after. They’re figuring out how to murder Mr. Timmons before the rest of the department gets on scene, and they know they’re running out of time.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I activate the device that radiates blackness from my clothes… tendrils of blackest nothing unfurl from my every seam. They’re all deaf from the gunshots, there’s little need to be sneaky. I smash out a window panel and throw two gas charges towards them, and instantly they’re filled with a feeling of overwhelming dread. They never remember seeing a canister; their brain just registers a cloud of smoke. That’s when I burst through the window. Terror on the faces of evil man… I’m not ashamed to say it gets me hard. It makes giving up the drugs that sustained me for years easy. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The city has had rumors of a man in a gas mask for years… but it never stops scaring them shitless. Only a fucking lunatic would attack unarmed, gas his only friend. What does he want? What would a man like that do if he caught you? What… what’s he going to do to us? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Come with me, my children, join the infinite, become the night!!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I just shout weird disturbing shit at people, that’s my thing. It enhances the whole “lunatic in a gas mask” gimmick. I discreetly fire a small sedative dart at the female officer, and she collapses instantly. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Alvarez, McKenna… you will join the infinite black… you will live in my soul forever!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">McKenna’s eyes go so wide, I’m worried they’ll break the tensile strength of his lids and pop right out. I dial up the generator, and the hallway falls into darkness. It’s a scene from a fucking horror movie, the monster walks in a cloud of smoke and dark, and the only natural human response is to run. Of course, they’re only human after all. They turn the corner, and I return the lights to normal. They’re perfectly framed in the gunman’s sights. Officers Alvarez and McKenna are no more. Someone else’s problem. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Timmons! You will join me next! You will be my servant in the infinite dark!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I know telling a black man he’s going to be your servant is a little unseemly. It’s supposed to be. He runs at me full force, his eyes wild, having given himself over to the power of the gun. Before he can lay a hand on me, I’ve smashed the median and ulnar joints in his arm. He won’t be using that arm for 6 months easily. I’m about to tear his throat out when Operations calls in to my earpiece.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“We can find a use for a cold blooded killer… There are bad men in this city Michael. Subdue and transport. Quickly, backup is reaching the front door now.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Timmons is screaming in pain. Even after some surgery, his arm is always going to be a little damaged. Sedative dart to his neck quiets him down. I pick up my two gas canisters and put them back in the holster. I remove the sedative dart from the female officer’s neck. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Besides a busted window and a vague recollection from the rookie, no one will know I was ever here. The disappearance of Jason Timmons will soon be another city legend. Hopefully his future work for our company will be as well… but a better sort of legend.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Hours pass. Timmons wakes up in darkness. He’s strapped to a table, but it’s too dark for him to see his restraints. All he knows is, he can’t move.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Mr. Timmons… welcome to the night. We have a lot of work to do.”</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-23390796180348545952012-04-06T07:13:00.000-07:002012-04-06T07:13:05.531-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUVXK31x0V90IkYsi_7z9bgyAgRw5S-D28hpoCl82X6rUJjgqYYz1uTMT7MYJYscT4mLFG6PML0I5O5S_0vWN43vLqNeUHcM4dcm4B_IrTNGfQaDuprbiyIuqdGUdampVBEY9uq98I-L3j/s1600/growingup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUVXK31x0V90IkYsi_7z9bgyAgRw5S-D28hpoCl82X6rUJjgqYYz1uTMT7MYJYscT4mLFG6PML0I5O5S_0vWN43vLqNeUHcM4dcm4B_IrTNGfQaDuprbiyIuqdGUdampVBEY9uq98I-L3j/s400/growingup.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-75438509249729965532012-04-02T15:34:00.002-07:002012-04-02T15:34:57.791-07:00the catpod<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvX3MJNk3Uy4OuUGCixp8sN-bK9GUNwiMz22gbYhbCCBwaH3-f8urFkQZCeNgCbszYCFo6AMANP9ezNdz8Nbaq-YeyBY0X2u8KFB4q2uvFlCX7ZkH-2O3A9nw5a5dVMSWLOO7HtFWe9rKi/s1600/tumblr_m1uvmzvTyz1qc31upo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvX3MJNk3Uy4OuUGCixp8sN-bK9GUNwiMz22gbYhbCCBwaH3-f8urFkQZCeNgCbszYCFo6AMANP9ezNdz8Nbaq-YeyBY0X2u8KFB4q2uvFlCX7ZkH-2O3A9nw5a5dVMSWLOO7HtFWe9rKi/s400/tumblr_m1uvmzvTyz1qc31upo1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Damn am I excited for this movie.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-75040677778296894572012-04-01T13:41:00.000-07:002012-04-01T13:41:47.886-07:00this probably isn't true... but let's pretend it is<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-npqu2hHzfS03HLFHNV7TtMTDTxr_W_2-Q7mOYmgMRbo4ROCXZcZYZ-i1wRNZDhPOORY-ZyrRSWKUFu1WN4Vnsj03ZJ69gdi3se4jiIsaELyuipZwyVJGNSpPRKSftf1MR74JaXjceDD/s1600/sDBdP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-npqu2hHzfS03HLFHNV7TtMTDTxr_W_2-Q7mOYmgMRbo4ROCXZcZYZ-i1wRNZDhPOORY-ZyrRSWKUFu1WN4Vnsj03ZJ69gdi3se4jiIsaELyuipZwyVJGNSpPRKSftf1MR74JaXjceDD/s640/sDBdP.jpg" width="437" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-27296369888607989382012-03-27T19:30:00.000-07:002012-03-27T19:30:28.675-07:00be betterI wish astral projection were a real thing. I wish I could loose my spirit from my body, fall free from my burdens, and fly forever upward. I wish my worries were dust. I wish my wants weren't wasteful. I wish I were better. I wish I was worth it to try.<br />
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Mostly I wish I weren't such a downer all the time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-14084527959723816432012-03-26T11:29:00.003-07:002012-03-27T11:12:50.146-07:00my origin storySometimes I think I cling to childish things because I know, deep in my heart, that I didn't turn out right as a person, and I have nothing to offer the world in an adult context. I'm not as funny as I wish I were, not clever enough by half, and I have a work ethic that has been described by a Swedish efficiency expert as "<span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="sv"><span class="hps">värdelös." I was scared to ask him what it meant; he looked fucking furious. </span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPDAGzDOnDuJZu7QPyInc3HXwD2DpvqaDrBlwTjxYKk4pWKbn2wXQRhqok55a1GQ7vwKYHsW0h1W4cQnxD6pbhlc4lJj-AdQ5mP8j_7upcrG8olz-Aj0O4HUZ1YXBvce1e9UZEp37cHFdS/s1600/PPMD5.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPDAGzDOnDuJZu7QPyInc3HXwD2DpvqaDrBlwTjxYKk4pWKbn2wXQRhqok55a1GQ7vwKYHsW0h1W4cQnxD6pbhlc4lJj-AdQ5mP8j_7upcrG8olz-Aj0O4HUZ1YXBvce1e9UZEp37cHFdS/s320/PPMD5.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Bunk is very fucking disappoint.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-15957416136710608942012-03-24T11:19:00.001-07:002012-03-26T11:25:15.524-07:00grammar is my fucking nemesis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgovcaRYoUHjv5KXDO_BNriuMgGxvxB23j7LNSc6i6rjKG4vaOOWiw3RjM2ZfTLYjJhP7yElz7axJA_fPIGI_ZyfUBbdebr2oogAv9hrZM8_6DSG56QdDoCujcRsxTxFKQEAfu207rlPaxr/s1600/6Vlnd.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgovcaRYoUHjv5KXDO_BNriuMgGxvxB23j7LNSc6i6rjKG4vaOOWiw3RjM2ZfTLYjJhP7yElz7axJA_fPIGI_ZyfUBbdebr2oogAv9hrZM8_6DSG56QdDoCujcRsxTxFKQEAfu207rlPaxr/s400/6Vlnd.png" width="335" /> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So is literacy apparently, because the first time I wrote this post title, I spelled it grammer.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-68971422777848505802012-03-23T12:02:00.000-07:002012-03-23T12:02:22.326-07:00wonder woman 7: what the hell just happened?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2FSuJVk80sOgQ3FtWuQz6uFCFo2ONZTSKu_odk_xXfWNl5uFYsPoh2cH8GtMwo28L13H-XjYY3qVdIGd9vz-b6tU1he0U9Py3cONTH8c0hAeLTWVyP_9o3rbF9LwqMdL_UEIU0Olbh2Fa/s1600/b0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2FSuJVk80sOgQ3FtWuQz6uFCFo2ONZTSKu_odk_xXfWNl5uFYsPoh2cH8GtMwo28L13H-XjYY3qVdIGd9vz-b6tU1he0U9Py3cONTH8c0hAeLTWVyP_9o3rbF9LwqMdL_UEIU0Olbh2Fa/s400/b0.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">One of my favorite comics right now is Wonder Woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know, I’m as surprised as you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wonder Woman has always been a weird ass comic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time someone new takes over, it’s like everything that happened before doesn’t count, there’s weird mythology stuff, she’s wearing a weird fucking America bathing suit even though she’s fucking Greek, plus it’s like Xena, but written shittier and her villains suck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, not a ton of reasons you might want to read her book.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But here’s the thing, her book is totally awesome right now!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, well, it was, until this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This week… well let’s talk about why it’s awesome before we get to that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First off, the art right now is amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s being drawn by a guy named Cliff Chiang, and his art is phenomenal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, it’s being written by a guy who I’ve loved for years, Brian Azzarello.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wrote the best crime comic ever written, called 100 Bullets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Together they've put together an interesting supporting cast, drawn Wonder Woman with more dignity than she's used to, and put a level of thought into her universe that I'm not sure we've seen previously. Join me after the jump to find out more.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span></span></div><a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ59KqRgbJqZNvesaevh46LHoJdob0umf6GpIy16h6mqGUvxVRQQg0C7czEPzgA9EXaQrjIP_ocpKdt9QlGsuhYeebO3YxnDcw2HjxsfD1wWEQe8uYrTZ841_MNyWiIPHvu23p65-ZPx0V/s1600/13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ59KqRgbJqZNvesaevh46LHoJdob0umf6GpIy16h6mqGUvxVRQQg0C7czEPzgA9EXaQrjIP_ocpKdt9QlGsuhYeebO3YxnDcw2HjxsfD1wWEQe8uYrTZ841_MNyWiIPHvu23p65-ZPx0V/s320/13.jpg" width="285" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Basically they’re writing Wonder Woman like it’s an urban fantasy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You ever read American Gods?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like a Pulitzer Prize Oscar Emmy book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dunno, big ass book awards, it won them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neil Gaiman wrote it. But basically it asks you to look at a world where Gods live their lives here on Earth, as people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially powerful people maybe, but people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You get to take a look at what they’re like when they’re not reading pronouncements or seducing mortals or whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a cool book, you should go read it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So, you remember back when you were learning about mythology back in school?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you remember how Zeus used to sleep with mortal women?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, in the comic, Zeus has a one night stand with a woman named Zola, and now Zola is pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So Hera teleports over to Zola’s horse farm (I dunno, there’s like horses on her property, do you farm horses I’m from the city) and she slaughters these two horses with a magic scythe, and these like centaur monster warrior dudes crawl up from out of the beheaded horse corpse and try to kill Zola.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know, that’s fucked up, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Hermes the messenger shows up and saves Zola, and like teleports her over to Wonder Woman’s house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there’s fighting and monster killing and all the good stuff you might hope for in a comic book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal">Besides that fighting what’s cool about it is just how flawed and human all the gods are made to look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The stilted, aloof, kinda Star Trek horseshit you might expect, none of that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are incredibly powerful people who will kill and maim and backstab anyone they need to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there’s monsters.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now, with that said, they’ve made some changes to Wonder Woman that not everyone is super excited about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her origin used to be pretty simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hippolyta is the leader of the Amazons, a tribe of peace-loving ladies who lived on an island, invisible to the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Hippolyta was desperate for a daughter, so she molded a girl out of clay, and asked the gods to give it life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> H</span>er wish was granted, and a baby Wonder Woman was born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kind of goofy, but whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was the story for decades.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In the new book, Wonder Woman is the product of a one night stand between Hippolyta and Zeus!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people on the intertubes were very upset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Me personally, I don’t give a fuck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clay is boring, and the Zeus thing was something we had never seen before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But yeah, some people were upset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s a blog I really like called <a href="http://dcwomenkickingass.tumblr.com/" target="_blank"><i>DC Women Kicking Ass</i></a> and here’s what they had to say about it:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><div style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am not happy with this change. I am giving up a lot and the book needs to deliver a kick ass story to justify it. The fact that the team has already done so much outside of this change for the better and that they have a very firm grasp on their story makes me believe they can.</span></div><div style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-left: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Superman and Batman would never have had their basic origin fundamentally changed. The fact that Wonder Woman’s has been encapsulates a lot of the problems with female characters at DC. But I’m willing to step over this line for a story that will elevate Wonder Woman and open the door for more female characters on the A list. A rising tide raises all ships, right? But this is it. Wonder Woman is a great character with a rich history; <strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">no more big changes.</span></strong></span></div></blockquote><div style="margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So yeah, that’s an idea of what some people were saying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing with comic books is, there’s a rich history, and it’s a costly history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’ve bought every single issue of Wonder Woman, you’re talking a huge amount of money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s money you’ve invested in this character, and it’s money you’d like to see mean something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you wave a wand and say, all that shit didn’t happen, people get upset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not me, I don’t care, but people.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A lot of people were a little weirded by that change, but they liked the story and were willing to roll with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that rolling ended this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Wonder Woman number 7 it was revealed that the Amazons were not peace-loving utopia living hippies who happened to believe in swordsmanship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amazonian women would creep from their island in the dead of night, board boats, and find some sailors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Amazonian women are no ordinary women, oh no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have magical super vaginas that fucking murder you when you have sex with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>They’re not even warriors, they’re just an island of fucking succubi.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, having sex murdered their sailor friends, they get pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When they have their girl babies, they are welcomed to the family, given a sword and some birkenstocks and told to have a nice life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being vaguely familiar with how babies work, perhaps you’re asking yourself what do they do when they have male babies?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well my friend, since you asked, here’s what they do with the male babies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They leave them on the beach at low tide, and wait for them to drown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Swear to god, that’s in the book if you read closely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></strong><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2D1uXlmvRl6SHc91JXQe092tgKyrcNRVjbChCL8_RLhlEBXuEQj4A7PEWXA_XAvpvL0IezlZNueVm_IsT1i0rRMBAGpQxB_C3ZOrXYkExe4IQdr3pPEvBvDa5vESbka3_sndQio98NXiM/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2D1uXlmvRl6SHc91JXQe092tgKyrcNRVjbChCL8_RLhlEBXuEQj4A7PEWXA_XAvpvL0IezlZNueVm_IsT1i0rRMBAGpQxB_C3ZOrXYkExe4IQdr3pPEvBvDa5vESbka3_sndQio98NXiM/s400/3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is completely fucked for like a million reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amazon Island is a feminist utopia and the Amazons are more advanced than everyone else on the planet. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In every possible way. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know why? Because they don’t spend all their time killing each other and doing dirt like every other society.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Amazons can be warriors when they have to, but left to their own thing they’re peaceful and awesome and what the fuck are they changing this shit for?</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Let’s take like basic morality out of it, yeah it’s awful and rapey and retarded but ok, what about Wonder Woman?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s been living on the island for a while, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t notice any of this going down?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t wonder, hey friends, where are you guys going and why don’t you need panties there?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t notice all her friends getting pregnant and having babies?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then she didn’t later notice when a couple of her very pregnant friends spit out a baby but don’t now have a baby to show people, and have a vague look of “oh fuck I’ve just killed a baby?” I don’t know what the fuck any of that is about.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And ok, if you’re a big time mythology buff, I bet you’re thinking to yourself, well, isn’t that how it is in the real myths?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Didn’t the real mythological Amazons do that shit?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, that’s in the myths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when you do comic books about mythological people, you take some shit out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not a huge fan of Thor, but I bet there’s not a ton of storylines that deal with Thor raping people and murdering fucking babies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that made the movie, I’m sure someone would’ve mentioned it.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Another thing that bothers me is like, where do we go from here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few issues ago Hera turned all the Amazons into snakes, and Wonder Woman was like running around trying to save Zola and fight Hera and it’s a whole big thing called “the plot of the fucking book”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So now what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She saves the Amazons from being snakes, and then casually asks, hey guys, what’s all this rape and sailor murder about?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t understand where we go from here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So wrapped up in all of this are feelings that I don’t personally have:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the woman feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not a woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have to deal with sexism or being paid less, or being called a slut for wanting birth control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s extra stuff going on here that I can’t speak to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For ladynerds this is a huge fucking deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wonder Woman is one of the very few female comic book characters who isn’t a derivative of a man, and who has her own book that sells well. They’re already kinda pissed because I don’t know if you’ve ever looked at comics but… not a ton of shit there for ladies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that makes it even worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there’s like 3 examples of women in your company, they better be some good fucking examples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this week’s Wonder Woman kinda killed that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The worst part is, I'm not sure what there is to be done. With comics, you have to write your stories way in advance so there's time to draw, ink, letter and then print the finished book. So even if, upon seeing that fans were not too pleased by this recent turn of events, what's to be done? The writer's off down the rabbit hole dealing with future stuff, the next issues are half-drawn already, who would change it?</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal;">So, am I done with my brief adventure of reading Wonder Woman? I'm honestly not sure yet. I know there are people out there who've already removed it from their pull lists. I get that impulse. Weirding all over a feminist icon isn't without consequences. I figure I'll check in next month, see what's happening, maybe read it in the store. Past that, I can't rightly say. </span></strong>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-78856418325930117672012-03-21T08:26:00.001-07:002012-03-21T08:27:21.388-07:00the crater<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhxjef62fnKPwLrk_ka-qIQ3jpPgt6Rp8FLLWm7ZDa2I07XPlvxjturU79HgX9hNWgv8Isuj2-VDXGi6ADre67dqz1ejNeYXNYzJzZbG6hawfuQpF3AtRBzOCxTDT3ltm_T8056NvmDdg0/s1600/hell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhxjef62fnKPwLrk_ka-qIQ3jpPgt6Rp8FLLWm7ZDa2I07XPlvxjturU79HgX9hNWgv8Isuj2-VDXGi6ADre67dqz1ejNeYXNYzJzZbG6hawfuQpF3AtRBzOCxTDT3ltm_T8056NvmDdg0/s400/hell.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>The first incursion began on Wednesday. Who knows why, but they chose Sweden. The fucking ground burst and spit hellfire into the morning air. At first, it was declared to be "a massive geological event" because who, upon seeing the devastation, would conclude, "oh, of course, demons have arrived to eat our faces." No, normal people don't think like that. They said it was similar in effect to a geyser, leaving out the fact that, outside volcanoes, GEYSERS DON'T FUCKING SHOOT FIRE AT PEOPLE. There were those of us who knew the truth, but Sweden is far, and burning leather wings flap with an unmatched urgency. We arrived too late. By Saturday, Sweden was salt and ash.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-8167212721341398442012-03-10T20:09:00.002-08:002012-03-10T20:10:31.451-08:00super mario subway<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="365" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HZmw_cLLco8" width="520">&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;nbsp;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;</iframe><br />
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The comments here are all asking why aren't the people on the train enjoying the music, or even paying a little bit of attention... This is perhaps a uniquely New York phenomenon. Comedians make jokes about how New Yorkers fall asleep on the train, and people think we're rude for not displaying any empathy or being rude or whatever. While there are some people who can, in fact, fall asleep on the train, for me it's different. I don't fall asleep, I close my eyes so I can shut down. So I can shut out the cacophony. So I can listen to my headphones and imagine that I am alone in the world, if only for a brief second. That is the double edged sword of the city. We love it for the vibrancy, the life, the mix of cultures, all that shit. But sometimes you need to take a break from it. Turning your brain off on the train is one way people do that. But hey, you gotta respect the hustle of paying Super Mario music on a subway, that's for sure.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-40384827099713625592012-02-27T17:14:00.000-08:002012-02-27T17:14:06.755-08:00not to get super personal but... this is totally where my finances are at<a href="http://www.hackcollege.com/blog/2012/02/27/infographic-we-love-ramen.html"><img alt="We Love Ramen Infographic" border="0" src="http://www.hackcollege.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/we-love-ramen-infographic.gif" width="500" /></a><br />
Created by: <a href="http://www.hackcollege.com/">Hack College</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-63041940014880029512012-02-27T06:51:00.000-08:002012-02-27T06:51:17.070-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWIncA9tge0e7cftHVqoURf0ou-7JVA3PLX9YUi1R_qEoOG2TEHPJuNfd-wDm4tnA6AVcDTmpmoomNQA-2p_44EO8eaTLDPs42sEwiIGPyjuWhmNhBgbuKPzY06SyTVHpXKoqVMeXm5-kk/s1600/OB7dl.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWIncA9tge0e7cftHVqoURf0ou-7JVA3PLX9YUi1R_qEoOG2TEHPJuNfd-wDm4tnA6AVcDTmpmoomNQA-2p_44EO8eaTLDPs42sEwiIGPyjuWhmNhBgbuKPzY06SyTVHpXKoqVMeXm5-kk/s400/OB7dl.png" width="500" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-4277487522476819902012-02-27T06:29:00.002-08:002012-02-27T06:29:32.380-08:00this is what my dreams look like<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSnW818WkX9ZG5ZsDI_EIoLoyT5DcoanPdugDT0Fkjlz09diit9d6fHwSJTjR9eEO6OQOiaAhTMRbM3POAwuixidAxaW3dH_Du43bImTDa-jKixTJRMWBl8AWO5w6PISo44O0JjOT_Xnrf/s1600/lZD2d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSnW818WkX9ZG5ZsDI_EIoLoyT5DcoanPdugDT0Fkjlz09diit9d6fHwSJTjR9eEO6OQOiaAhTMRbM3POAwuixidAxaW3dH_Du43bImTDa-jKixTJRMWBl8AWO5w6PISo44O0JjOT_Xnrf/s640/lZD2d.jpg" width="550" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-58932285953606536552012-02-27T06:09:00.000-08:002012-02-27T06:09:39.567-08:00because no one demanded it: why cyanide kills quickly<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi6au1LCPEgq5TUeiAoUBNlDNL9r1cB5yuRKlwEExDEsrOIqd0DMYUQ1csNuCGYMuDukU9m2xv2K601W_Nx2BjGXo-ZEwWgpp0LieCdiN6MllLkn5ZyCUT9eSZ4vhq0NC1iusVBe94UR-M/s1600/Cyanide_Pills_by_Zui_Generiz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi6au1LCPEgq5TUeiAoUBNlDNL9r1cB5yuRKlwEExDEsrOIqd0DMYUQ1csNuCGYMuDukU9m2xv2K601W_Nx2BjGXo-ZEwWgpp0LieCdiN6MllLkn5ZyCUT9eSZ4vhq0NC1iusVBe94UR-M/s400/Cyanide_Pills_by_Zui_Generiz.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>You remember that scene in that spy movie you were watching where the evil spy cracks open a false tooth full of poison and dies before the good guys can get their questions answered? Yeah, that was cyanide in that tooth. It's a thing. Spies use it to kill themselves. So did Hitler. If you're anything like me, I'm sure you've always wondered how the fuck that actually works. Don't worry, I know you're not like me, but click the thing, maybe you'll learn something.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Cyanide is a chemical compound that consists of a carbon atom triple-bonded to a nitrogen atom. Like most things involving awful chemicals you must not put in your body, it was created accidentally during an industrial manufacturing process. In this case, some jerk was making a bunch of blue dye. He ended up with giant buckets of murder juice, because why not. in 1706, a paint maker in Berlin was attempting to make a new shade of blue<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyanide#cite_note-0"><span></span></a>, and during the process, he formed giant cyanide crystals, like Superman's house, except if Superman's house could kill you if you licked the walls. That blue they made was a hell of a blue, and it was used most famously to paint this thing here, I'm sure you've seen it around:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0a/The_Great_Wave_off_Kanagawa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="275" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0a/The_Great_Wave_off_Kanagawa.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Great Wave off Kanagawa</td></tr>
</tbody></table>So ok, we know where it comes from, but what does it do to people? Are you sure I shouldn't eat it? Maybe it tastes awesome, you don't know. <br />
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Here's what Wikipedia has to say:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">Many cyanides are highly toxic. The cyanide anion is an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enzyme_inhibitor" title="Enzyme inhibitor">inhibitor</a> of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enzyme" title="Enzyme">enzyme</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cytochrome_c_oxidase" title="Cytochrome c oxidase">cytochrome c oxidase</a> (also known as aa<sub>3</sub>) in the fourth complex of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electron_transport_chain" title="Electron transport chain">electron transport chain</a> (found in the membrane of the <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitochondria" title="Mitochondria">mitochondria</a> of eukaryotic cells). It attaches to the iron within this protein. The binding of cyanide to this cytochrome prevents transport of electrons from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cytochrome_c_oxidase" title="Cytochrome c oxidase">cytochrome c oxidase</a> to oxygen. As a result, the electron transport chain is disrupted, meaning that the cell can no longer aerobically produce <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adenosine_triphosphate" title="Adenosine triphosphate">ATP</a> for energy. Tissues that depend highly on <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aerobic_respiration" title="Aerobic respiration">aerobic respiration</a>, such as the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_nervous_system" title="Central nervous system">central nervous system</a> and the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart" title="Heart">heart</a>, are particularly affected. This is an example of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histotoxic_hypoxia" title="Histotoxic hypoxia">histotoxic hypoxia</a>.</blockquote>If you're anything like me, you don't know what any of that means. So let's turn our peepers to reddit, and in particular someone named Criticalist:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">Cyanide can be ingested, inhaled, or absorbed through the skin. It acts by blocking the cytochrome C oxidase enzyme which is an essential part of intracellular oxygen utilization. What this means is that the cells can no longer use oxygen at a tissue level, no matter that they are being supplied at adequate amounts. Thus you are in effect suffocated. This explains why it acts so quickly - it is a small molecule that can be absorbed easily, and its mechanism of action is on oxygen utilization.</blockquote>So there you have it. Cyanide is a pill that suffocates you from the inside out. According to my research it doesn't even hurt that much (although Hitler was so afraid that it might, he shot himself in the head after taking it). The symptoms are usually described as dizziness, headache, fatigue, restlessness, confusion, seizures and coma - but severe pain is not usually described. <br />
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So, if ever you become a spy, and you go on a dangerous mission, and they give you a little pill "just in case"... that's what that was. Cyanide. And it's not so bad. Um, thanks for being a spy I guess. Very cool of you. Bye!<br />
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Cyanide Pill image - <a href="http://zui-generiz.deviantart.com/%20" target="_blank">Zui-Generiz</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-61871892850468035532012-02-27T05:29:00.004-08:002012-02-27T05:29:56.398-08:00texting while walking makes you look like a real asshole<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pLA1UelcDrE" width="560">&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;an&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;</iframe><br />
<br />
and yet I do it all the time...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-59799349112660722812012-02-16T14:27:00.002-08:002012-02-25T12:14:34.909-08:00yeah we're like this. say something. asshole.<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/H_dx7CkA0ck" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-47268577824274057892012-02-15T11:30:00.000-08:002012-05-16T10:47:34.110-07:00fx's justified and organ theft: do people really steal your kidneys or is that bullshit?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipIZkOJOx9j9_TUQW3tUdD_vz4jptN68T8bEpAVrnlI-o07Cinpl9c2GphDngkFbZXMKxQoTyt3h9APKqRKW1WmKzbL2k8NBSYvTx0XeXhG0zrP-BoopqEgJ5DmRTQ7hoflhgNo574tAk2/s1600/1170212011-03-25-16-33-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipIZkOJOx9j9_TUQW3tUdD_vz4jptN68T8bEpAVrnlI-o07Cinpl9c2GphDngkFbZXMKxQoTyt3h9APKqRKW1WmKzbL2k8NBSYvTx0XeXhG0zrP-BoopqEgJ5DmRTQ7hoflhgNo574tAk2/s400/1170212011-03-25-16-33-17.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Last night, Justified featured that story you've heard a million times before. Someone woke up in a bathtub without his kidneys. In a twist on the idea, he was told he had four hours before the not having of kidneys would kill him, and if he brought $20,000 to a rendezvous, they could put his kidneys back in and he would live a long and happy life. Mayhem ensued. As always, a great episode, but it got me thinking… do organized organ theft operations really exist? Let’s find out.</div>
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The case for the existence of an international black market organ trade has become increasingly convincing in recent years. What remain unsubstantiated are the tales of "back room" organ thefts perpetrated in the dark night in secluded alleys and seedy hotel rooms. "There is absolutely no evidence of such activity ever occurring in the U.S. or any other industrialized country," says the United Network for Organ Sharing. "While the tale sounds credible enough to some listeners, it has no basis in the reality of organ transplantation."<br />
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In fact, it's all but impossible for such activities to take place outside properly-equipped medical facilities, UNOS argues. The removal, transport, and transplantation of human organs involves procedures so complex and delicate, requiring a sterile setting, minute timing, and the support of so many highly-trained personnel, that they simply could not be accomplished "on the street," as it were.</div>
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Here’s the kicker: No victims have ever come forward.</div>
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The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for alleged victims of such crimes to come forward and validate their stories. To date, none have.</div>
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But what about the real black market trade in organs? Sure, no one's out there with a hacksaw stealing people's bits, but what about the real stuff? Surely there's real stuff, right? Well, if you're talking about the United States, for a very long time, you would be incorrect. That all changed recently, and like most things gross, we have New Jersey to thank.<br />
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CBS News reports that "Levy Izhak Rosenbaum, 60, said he had helped secure the organs from people in Israel for U.S.-based customers in exchange for payments of $120,000 or more. His attorneys said Rosenbaum had performed a lifesaving service for desperately ill people who had been languishing on official transplant waiting lists." Strange as it might sound, this is the first ever proven case of organ theft in the United States. And it seems like the organs were stolen willingly.<br />
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How do you get away with something like this? Apparently it wasn't that hard, and Rosenbaum only got caught because he spoke about his service to an undercover agent who was investigating money laundering within the Jewish Orthodox community. Transplant hospitals are a very niche business, who provide a single service and provide it well, and if you agree to pay their costs, the hospitals won't ask you much. CBS News again:<br />
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"Critics and experts on organ trafficking say many U.S. hospitals do not have vigorous enough procedures for looking into the source of the organs they transplant because such operations are lucrative. U.S. transplant centers are mostly free to write their own rules for screening donors. The questions they ask vary widely. Some hospitals require long waiting periods; others don't."<br />
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Mr. Rosenbaum's case seems to be one of organ sale, not organ theft. In China, however, they've cobbled together something much grayer. An organ sale that just might be a theft. Since it's China, we may never know the truth, but we can sure wonder. </div>
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In 2006, the BBC reported on a practice being carried out by the Chinese government. The BBC said: "Organs from death row inmates are sold to foreigners who need transplants. One hospital said it could provide a liver at a cost of £50,000 ($94,400), with the chief surgeon confirming an executed prisoner could be the donor.” </div>
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The Chinese government has claimed that the prisoners are donating their organs willingly, that they volunteered to donate their organs as a "present to society." However, the death penalty process is much faster in China than elsewhere, and prisoners are not allowed to file appeals as they are in other countries. In fact, China kills people by the boatload. For an American to take note of how many people a country is executing... well it's fucking serious I'll say that. So that was back in 2006. China has developed a reputation for being a go-to spot for kidneys... I wonder how that's changed since then? Would you bet on it getting better or worse?</div>
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"A recent report by a major Chinese newspaper told the story of a young man who became the victim of organ theft by his new employer, a medical device company."</div>
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A young Chinese man got a job at a medical device company in Nanjing. His new employer asked him to get a physical before starting with the company, and being a good worker bee, he agreed. He became a little concerned when his doctor's visit seemed more in-depth than he was expecting. He was there for so long that he asked for something to drink. They drugged his water. When he woke up, it was clear he was being operated on. His kidney left the room in a metal box. </div>
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When he had finally come to, he spoke to his employer about exactly what the fuck just happened. "<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;">His boss told him that someone had paid 350,000 yuan (US$54,880) to cover all expenses. The hospital had received 200,000 yuan (US$31,360), his boss had received 110,000 (US$17,248), and just 30,000 (US$4,704) had gone to the donor--himself." He also learned that he wasn't alone. Seven or eight of his coworkers had experienced the same thing. While the employee is unconscious, his family is contacted, and told essentially, "this is happening, get on board, sign some papers, and you'll get some money. It's going to happen either way."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;">Medical device company employees aren't the only ones getting their shit took. Members of the Falun Gong, long a persecuted group in China, have complained of being the victims of organ theft. Similar stories are found in refugee camps around the world. Bedouin smugglers in North Africa, who act much as "coyotes" here in the states, normally smuggle people into Israel to act as cheap labor. Well, sometimes. Sometimes they'll cut you open if you can't pay all they think you should. Similar stories were told during the wars in Kosovo and the surrounding areas, but evidence was hard to come by. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;">So... do people steal kidneys? Kind of. Not in a back alley motel bathtub, no. That's bullshit. You need a hospital to steal someone's kidney. Sweet dreams.</span></span></div>
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-36594721309651687922012-02-13T20:48:00.001-08:002012-02-13T20:48:35.498-08:00well... sometimes the world's ok<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0KZtgWoARsw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-22706354745710293122012-02-08T12:34:00.000-08:002012-02-08T12:34:28.409-08:00a warren and a song<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/a2BUEzdjfpY" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">“Be authentic to your dreams. Be authentic to your own idea about yourself. Grind away at your own minds and bodies until you become your own invention. Be Mad Scientists.”</div><div style="text-align: center;">― Warren Ellis</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-15880224258160704812012-02-06T07:58:00.000-08:002012-02-06T16:56:48.771-08:00the winter soldier, a monkey with a machine gun, and the russian mafia model<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgISlrAVwqbqoNMTHwaFbSbM0ipgP-QvhpKE4r9N80hxcUi1vUDb_dVMi8UUQzCvJKjDx5ADYeziXZqhGhRTWaguL20seUmhjAaOcIR_dMVXspNZNiLw70lGLl6D40ue5RT0lohVNA4aiGq/s1600/wintersoldier.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgISlrAVwqbqoNMTHwaFbSbM0ipgP-QvhpKE4r9N80hxcUi1vUDb_dVMi8UUQzCvJKjDx5ADYeziXZqhGhRTWaguL20seUmhjAaOcIR_dMVXspNZNiLw70lGLl6D40ue5RT0lohVNA4aiGq/s400/wintersoldier.PNG" width="400" /></a></div>This week's issue of The Winter Soldier featured a break in at a Russian Mob-backed casino. It ends with a giant ape shooting an AK-47 at our heroes, because comics are awesome. Somewhere between the break-in and the giant monkey I got to thinking about the criminal model used by the Russian Mafia, and I had to question the idea behind their ownership of a casino. The Russian Mafia method of crime is a simple one: move to an area, do your dirt, then get the fuck out.<br />
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It sounds simple, but it's amazing how few crooks actually use it. Even our home-grown mob doesn't. When a truck gets highjacked in New Jersey, the cops know there's probably half a dozen suspects, so they put surveillance on them, wait to see who buys something expensive, and bingo, they know who did it. The Russians are the modern day Nomads of crime. They move from country to country, using transnational shipping routes, front companies, and an army of lawyers to handle their business. So this got me thinking about the casino... these are mobile people, they don't do things like this, owning giantly visible businesses that attract the attention of the government, right? So I turned to the awesome power of Google to see if I was right. I wasn't.<br />
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The first story I dug up had me thinking I was on the right track. I found a story out of Switzerland that went like this: "For months, casinos throughout Switzerland were baffled by a peculiar repeating event. The only people who ever won jackpots on the slots called 'Gaminator' and 'Super Gaminator' were Russian nationals" Apparently both the police and the gaming industry figured it out independently at about the same time. Winning a jackpot in Switzerland notifies their country's revenue service, and the revenuers were a bit surprised to see all these jackpots going to Russian nationals. At the same time, the casinos noticed that, for some of their slot machines, there were long-ass lines of Russians waiting to play. At first they dismissed it, they thought perhaps that the brand was popular back home. But over a period of time, a thing like that stands out. I mean, there's always a couple Russians waiting to play this one game? What's that about? Well, what its about is they're fucking robbing the joint. To date, the authorities aren't sure how the Russians pulled it off. What everyone is sure about, however, is that if the Russians had been a bit less obvious about it, they might still be pulling it off. The police grabbed one of them, your classic <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vor_v_zakone" target="_blank"><i>Vor </i></a>with the tattoos, and under questioning he gave up everything he knew... which was exactly nothing. He knew the street names of half a dozen crooks who were in on it, so he got credit for cooperation and a lighter sentence... and no one else got arrested. Nicely handled.<br />
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So ok, they rob casinos, probably with a computer virus, but nothing was exactly proven, and the broken machines were quietly replaced. That fits in to my nomad theory, because by the time the police found out, most of the people behind the scam were on their way out of the country. The next story I found fits too.<br />
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Apparently of late there have been a number of organized Denial of Service attacks on online gambling websites. Here's what Wikipedia has to say about that: "A distributed denial of service attack (DDoS) occurs when multiple systems flood the bandwidth or resources of a targeted system, usually one or more web servers." What that means in English is that a hacker organizes a million computers to load your website all at the same time. If a million computers all load your site at the same time, your site freaks the fuck out, and won't load for anyone, no matter how nicely you ask it. These hackers can keep it up for extended periods of time, and if you're an online gambling website that's been singled out, while you're down, all of your customers will go somewhere else. If you'd like it to stop, there's a tattooed gentleman outside who'd like a few dollars. And he'd like them regularly. That's what's called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extortion" target="_blank">extortion</a>. The days of Molotov cocktails through the window of your deli are over.<br />
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But there you go, that's more evidence of Nomadism. A hacker who you will never meet ruins your business until you pay money into a PayPal account (or something similar, I'm not entirely sure how they move money around yet). At no time do you meet anyone in person, and if the police get involved, they have the awful job of trying to trace a hacker through several international jurisdictions, and that's if even they can prove it was a DDoS attack. <br />
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So now we come to the part where I was wrong. At the beginning of this, I thought to myself, there's no way the Russian Mob would own a casino; the police, revenue, they're all over that stuff. They wouldn't get involved with that. TIME Magazine would disagree.<br />
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In their article "Casino Gambling: Russia's Export to Latin America," Jean Freidman-Rudovsky explains that Bolivia "is a gambling company's paradise." <span class="lingo_region">In the last few years gambling operations there have nearly doubled - there are now more than 80 casinos and about 10,000 gambling machines in a country with a population of 9 million people. TIME attributes the rise to foreign investors taking advantage of Bolivia's loose regulations. Once a gambling company is granted a license to operate, there are no limits on the number of sites it can open in Bolivia. Other countries limit the number of casinos that can be opened in proportion to population size. </span><br />
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<span class="lingo_region">So far the Russians have been able to infiltrate the market with Bolivian front men, or with claims that while they may be Russian, they are not involved with criminality. The police remain unconvinced. With casinos comes prostitution, money laundering, and arms sales to protect the following two businesses. Perhaps another time I'll write about Russian human trafficking. It's seriously fucked up. </span><br />
<span class="lingo_region"> </span><br />
<span class="lingo_region">So I began this talking about a monkey with a machine gun... and discovered that the Russian mob has infiltrated the Bolivian gambling business. Crime is like that... everywhere but nowhere to be seen. </span><br />
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<span class="lingo_region">Also, here's the monkey with the machine gun since I'm sure you're curious. Bye.</span><br />
<span class="lingo_region"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3wjFa6W16I88hX9URYR94j3J2Yu9Y6f-utb0ELug-iBIxquY5XTtfa15ztIIsqFoxLE0a6mcN7p35F6wwzZMqmod5TiWtH97Lm7AkDXXw_577NVpdVkp1ewy84a_XhIpmShxOwZLbVJpV/s1600/pg20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3wjFa6W16I88hX9URYR94j3J2Yu9Y6f-utb0ELug-iBIxquY5XTtfa15ztIIsqFoxLE0a6mcN7p35F6wwzZMqmod5TiWtH97Lm7AkDXXw_577NVpdVkp1ewy84a_XhIpmShxOwZLbVJpV/s640/pg20.jpg" width="419" /></a></div><span class="lingo_region">DISCLAIMER: Do not go around Google-ing Russian site unless you're certain of your anti-virus software. I'm so serious. They'll fuck your shit up.<br />
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-81112791133960905052012-02-04T22:21:00.000-08:002012-02-04T22:21:39.671-08:00totally crucial information<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ2cJs2N6pUNVliBZa6fwlie3bLS48yHOdegy_HvZE-pZpk6UA3ADbkPaPvhoFnhiGnygqQ1l7JmiPlCMqKbfddLirqp162Rc1XR5Ssvvcoh976HZrPDMZ-fVQZt7hONWkHZO3Z9xXvF1K/s1600/e92c44d2ca970b524a49ae4a2e0da1bf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ2cJs2N6pUNVliBZa6fwlie3bLS48yHOdegy_HvZE-pZpk6UA3ADbkPaPvhoFnhiGnygqQ1l7JmiPlCMqKbfddLirqp162Rc1XR5Ssvvcoh976HZrPDMZ-fVQZt7hONWkHZO3Z9xXvF1K/s400/e92c44d2ca970b524a49ae4a2e0da1bf.jpg" width="305" /></a></div>A source I trust completely... mostly because I can easily envision him eating someone... has informed me that the ideal human sample is a woman aged 18-21 who's been starved for three days but kept very well hydrated. So what does that mean for you? When the world ends, if you're a young lady, for god's sake make sure your fucking shotgun is loaded. People are going to try to eat you. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-570674508730982362012-02-04T10:49:00.001-08:002012-02-04T10:51:26.447-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBDXbHtzXM0gmdVc9vN09F7WbWa5wudLLSnvA7PNEWt9aIYkoppQeUBnmMT38tRnX-rBghmoq-4xGWJ135cZ5_PosCikySJnPGbWLweaW7-cs_ST-F_Z7KjuqUYjeWJYRtthW-bgahBIB7/s1600/tumblr_lynx2yK2k51qgwl0x.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBDXbHtzXM0gmdVc9vN09F7WbWa5wudLLSnvA7PNEWt9aIYkoppQeUBnmMT38tRnX-rBghmoq-4xGWJ135cZ5_PosCikySJnPGbWLweaW7-cs_ST-F_Z7KjuqUYjeWJYRtthW-bgahBIB7/s640/tumblr_lynx2yK2k51qgwl0x.jpg" width="550" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6254274175571707867.post-32398154997036377152012-02-03T12:33:00.000-08:002012-02-03T12:33:50.389-08:00this is why i love crime"If you should chance to strike up a conversation with an articulate, English-speaking Russian, in, say, the restaurant of one of the luxury hotels along Lake Geneva, and he is wearing a $3,000 suit and a pair of Gucci loafers, and he tells you that he is an executive of a Russian trading company and wants to talk to you about a joint venture, then there are four possibilities. He may be what he says he is. He may be a Russian intelligence officer working under commercial cover. He may be part of a Russian organized crime group. But the really interesting possibility is that he may be all three - and that none of those three institutions have any problems with the arrangement."<br />
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- James Woolsey, former director of the CIAUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0