Monday, September 26, 2011


Based on the name, megapolisomancy is the art of predicting and manipulating the present and future using the massive building structures, roads, railways, electric lines, water, sewage and gas lines, underground tunnels and cisterns as a kind of magickal topology, which can be seeded with sigils, talismans and other occult artifacts and thereby, harnessed to whatever ends the magician would desire. As de Castries himself says in his book, as quoted in the story:

“The electro-mephitic city-stuff whereof I speak has potencies for achieving vast effects at distant times and localities, even in the far future and on other orbs, but of the manipulations required for the production and control of such I do not intend to discourse in these pages.”

Friday, September 9, 2011

what evil lurks

the sound of something magic

i'm fairly certain I would be just fine in the event of a zombie apocalypse

So I was watching High School of the Dead (it's a show), and I've learned three things. First, that they show more panties than are appropriate. I like panties as much as the next pedophile, but come on. Second, they yell more than people trying to avoid being eaten should. Pro tip, if there's something trying to fucking eat you, keep quiet. You might just make it out alive. Third, I would absolutely be able to murder my loved ones if it meant saving the group.

So they did that bit, you've seen it in some dumb movie I'm sure, where someone's boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or fucking paraplegic mom (sorry mom, if you can't walk, you're bait, not a travel companion) is about to turn into a zombie and despite them having killed like fifteen zombies already, the significant other is like, "Oh no, you're not going to turn, that infected-looking bite is totally normal, let's not warn the others." So yeah, that doesn't work out, and the guy's starting to turn, and his girlfriend is losing her shit, like "hey other guy, you're not killing my boyfriend, he's fine, he's always liked the taste of brains, in fact we met at a brain tasting in Napa." Just being loud as shit, and unhelpful, and trying to give us all AIDS, I mean, not AIDS, that would be sick if they made hundreds of movies about AIDS people turning into monsters and eating us... So yeah, the hero has to slap the unhelpful girl, like you would (you wouldn't, that's why that's a joke), and kill her boyfriend, and it's met with bawling tears, drawing more attention of course, and yeah.

So let's posit a scenario. Everyone's a zombie except you and some other unlucky pricks. You're running for your life, maybe you're looking for water, or medical supplies, or some other flimsy pretext to not be hiding in a barricaded room somewhere. And then, lo and behold, on your journey you bump into someone you love! Like you would, of course, on a normal day where there's no monsters eating baby's faces. But SHOCK, they're a fucking zombie. Because your loved ones suck. I'm not a zombie, but your fucking mom is. Your mom sucks. We all talk about it, it's time you knew. Ok so your fucking zombie mom is coming at you nice and slow, ready to eat your face. Would you be able to gank your mom? Ok I don't really like my mom, so yeah I would, but we're not talking about me, we're talking about you, and your suckass zombie mom.

Here's why I think I'd do ok. I love my sister, she's friendly and she's a goof, and she doesn't hate me even though I'm crazy. She might be my favorite person. But I would be able to shoot her right in her zombie fucking face all day if I had to. Depending on how long it's been since Z-Day, your loved one probably looks like shit, is trying to kill you, and IS TRYING TO KILL YOU. Don't be stupid, shoot your dumb zombie mom in her face. Yeah your mom is dumb. I sold her a bridge once. I don't even feel bad about it, because she looked so fucking happy. SHE DIDN'T EVEN ASK WHICH FUCKING BRIDGE. Bye.